


The Hanged Man

by Nerdydaisy_b1tch



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:27:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26056447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdydaisy_b1tch/pseuds/Nerdydaisy_b1tch
Summary: Tsukishima is a soprano, but shhhh, don't tell anyone. Oh is that Tanaka with a camera???Too late I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯OrTsukki sings alone in the clubroom, the team finds out that he sings and he experiences anxiety because of it. Yamaguchi saves the day tho. :)
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 55





	The Hanged Man

**Author's Note:**

> Light anxiety. Kinda shitty but I just wanted to post something. Please give me constructive criticism, I'm not in honors english anymore because these schools don't have those classes. I need to improveeee.

The flick of a switch is the last sound to echo within the gymnasium, leaving the empty space dark and quiet. The door slides shut, Tsukishima stands alone in front of it. The cold air hit his back, sending a shiver up his spine. His breath created a small cloud of fog, he wasn't surprised by it though, he should've guessed it was going to be freezing today. He pulls a cold key out of his pocket, inserting it into the keyhole and twisting it. Taking a step back, he turns and walks to the club room. His light steps and the chilling wind are the only things heard on the way there. It was somewhat lonely, due to the fact that Yamaguchi was absent for being sick, and no one expected him to be back until a week later.

While he makes his way up to the room, Noya runs past Tsukki, laughing maniacally as he descends down the stairs. Tanaka's voice overbears Noya's laughter, his yelling disturbing Tsukki's peace. By the time he's made it to the club room, the door flies open and Tanaka is sprinting towards Noya. "Noya, you bitch, wait up!" Kei rolls his eyes as he enters the lone clubroom, the difference in temperature causing him to shiver yet again. 

The door clicks shut behind him, blocking the cool breeze from giving him any more goosebumps. He lets out a breath of relief as silence fills the air once again. He strides over to his bag, taking out his headphones and sliding them on. He grabs his phone and begins to play music, turning the volume to full blast. He pulls up YouTube and clicks on his playlist, the loud music fills his ears and blocks out the sound of his shuffling feet.

He quickly dressed himself, the only thing left to do was button his shirt and slide on his coat. Kei hummed along with the music, and as the songs changed his voice grew louder and his light mumbling turning into soft singing.

-

Tanaka raced up the stairs, his face slightly red from the amount of sprinting he had been doing. He couldn't believe he forgot his bag in the clubroom, but at least he had his phone.

-

One button done.

"Thought I found a way, thought I found a way out, but you never go away. So I guess I gotta stay now."

-

Tanaka stood outside the door panting, he kneeled, incredibly out of breath.

\- 

Two buttons done.

"Oh, I hope someday I'll make it out of here."

-

Just as he was about to open the door, Tanaka stopped. He must've been hearing things. There was absolutely no way that there was Tsukishima Kei, the most salty and quiet guy on the team, standing in the club room singing. Maybe it wasn't Kei! But that wouldn't make sense, Tanaka was the last to leave the room. So it has to be him. 

-

Three buttons done.

"Even if it takes all night or a hundred years, need a place to hide, but I can't find one near. Want to feel alive, outside I can't fight my fear."

-

Tanaka quickly snatched his phone out of his pocket, he HAD to get a recording of this experience. He clicked record and slowly cracked the door open just enough to get a good view of Tsukki's facial expression. 

-

A few tears trickled down Tsukishima's face, the song was hitting close to home.

Four buttons done.

"Isn't it lovely, all alone. Heart made of glass, my mind of stone. Tear me to pieces, skin to bone. Hello, welcome home"

-

"Holy shit." Tanaka simply couldn't believe this. Kei, of all people, was crying and singing at the exact same time. This is the most emotion Tanaka had ever seen come from him.

-

Five buttons done.

Tsukki paused momentarily, he couldn't hit the lower notes. He wasn't an alto, although he hated to admit it, he was a soprano. So he wasn't able to sing Seraphim's part. Taking a deep breath, he waited before singing the next part.

He belted.

"But I know someday I'll make it out of here! Even if it takes all night or a hundred years! Need a place to hide, but I can't find one near!"

-

How the fuck did Tsukishima sing that?

-

Six buttons done.

One deep breath and continue. "Wanna feel alive, outside I can fight my fear!"

-

This video had to be worth millions. How was Tsukishima not famous already?!

-

Seven buttons done.

"Oh~" Kei knew he could hit the next run, but decided against it. It just didn't feel right singing outside of his part. "Isn't it lovely, all alone," Kei paused to keep his part. "Tear me to pieces, skin and bone. Oh, welcome home." Tsukki let out a tiny sob as he wiped away his tears, grinning uncontrollably. He then began choking on his laughter as the next song began. "Pft, I can't-" he wheezed in laughter between his words,"believe I did that! God damn I sound like shit!" Tsukishima continued to die in his laughter.

"What do you mean you sounded like shit? That was awesome!!!"

Tsukishima immediately stopped laughing, his smile gone. His tears stopped and his face was emotionless, aside from the tiny hint of insecurity in his eyes. Kei did his best to try to ignore the tears,"I mean that it sucked. Why the fuck is your phone in your hand and pointed directly at me?"

Tanaka froze, as if his feet were glued to the very spot he stood. "Uh," he tried to think of a good excuse but couldn't come up with one,"I uh, mm, no reason. Yah, I'm not doing anything. Yep." Tanaka pressed the stop button and shoved his phone into his back pocket. He reached for his bag quickly and speed walked out of the room, slamming the door shut in an attempt to get Tsukishima's glare off his back.

Kei stood in the club room, music still blaring and chest tight. Adrenaline and anxiety rushed through his veins, causing his hands to shake ever so slightly. His jaw felt tight enough to the point where if he were thinking clearly, he would start to wonder if his teeth broke. How the fuck was he supposed to go to school tomorrow? He couldn't handle anymore humiliation! He couldn't make a fool of himself again. 

Without another thought, Tsukki finished getting dressed. Flicking the light switch off he closed and locked the door, leaving the key under the doormat like usual.

_______________ 

The week that Yamaguchi was absent, Tsukki hadn't said a word at practice. If asked a question he would nod, or shrug. He really didn't see the point in speaking if he didn't have to, the entire team had seen the video of him singing in the team group chat, so they knew what he sounded like. So Tsukki decided to end making a fool of himself by keeping his mouth shut.

The team complimented him on his voice, even Hinata was amazed. But Kei didn't say a word. Just a small nod. Daichi and Suga were worried, although Tsukki wasn't much of a talker, they weren't used to him being completely silent. There weren't any sassy remarks, no chuckles at the Kagehina bullshitery, and no music. Which surprised everyone. So, Suga forced Tanaka to apologise. And yet there was still no verbal response, just a simple nod.

_______________ 

When Yamaguchi finally came back to school, he hadn't seen the video everyone was talking about, and was really looking forward to talking to Tsukki about it. The only thing he wanted to do was listen to Tsukki speak, at least a small sentence. To say the least, Yams really liked the sound of Tsukishima's voice. Whether he be speaking, laughing, or yelling at Hinata. Although the last bit isn't always nice to watch.

Before leaving his house, Yamaguchi texted the group chat letting everyone know that he was coming back today. He then texted Tsukishima separately to let him know that he was going to pick him up and walk with him to school.

When he stepped outside he noticed that Tsuki was already waiting for him at his gate, he had his headphones around his neck and he wore his uniform in the same messy way as usual. With the first two buttons undone and the tie probably back at his house. Needless to say, he looked stunning as always. "Ahhh, sorry Tsukki! I didn't know you would be here! I told you I would pick you up," Yamaguchi's voice cracked a little bit, making him cringe.

'Cute' was the first thought that popped into Tsukishima's head. The smallest hint of blush crept up to his ears and cheeks, he tried to shake it off as if it would help his situation. Instead of responding like he normally would, he simply nodded.

Yams knew that Tsukki wasn't much of a talker, so he didn't think too much of it. Instead he started asking small questions, ones that he hoped would get decent answers to. "So how did you sleep Tsukki?" He asked, a smile creeping up onto his face.

"Meh."

"Oh… well why meh? Was it a nightmare? Or did you keep waking up?" 

Tsukki replied with a mere shrug, his eyes focusing on the ground. That's when Yamaguchi knew something was up. No matter what, he always got at least a one word answer.

Finally Yams questioned him,"Ok, what's wrong? Did anything happen while I was gone?"

"You saw the video." 

Yams memory sparked and he then remembered that he had questions to ask. "Oh my god, that one with you singing that Lovely cover? With um," he paused to think,"LAUREN BABIC, Lauren Babic! Yeah her, that cover. The one where you sang that? Because if so, then nope, I didn't see it! Is that what you're upset about?"

Tsukki's only response was a nod, yet again.

"Why are you upset about it?"

He shrugged this time.

Yamaguchi sighed, clearly this wasn't going anywhere. "C'mon, you can tell me. I just wanna help-"

"You can't really help, what's been done is done. I feel like The Hanged Man. Just gotta sit here, and let things play out. Silently." 

This left Yamaguchi somewhat shocked. Everyone on the team had said that he sounded really amazing, and that they were jealous of Tsukki. "But why? Everyone kept saying you sounded amazing!"

"Just don't bother. Watch if you want. I don't give a shit anymore. Can we just change the subject?"

It was pretty clear that Tsukki was upset. Yamaguchi's words were caught in his throat, he could only nod at that. Before beginning to tell Tsukishima about the dream he had the night before.

_______________

The two of them entered the gym, already dressed in their volleyball uniforms. At Yamaguchi's arrival, the team began making their way over. Everyone gave him proper greetings before Tanaka held his phone out, opening up his gallery. Tsukki left Yama's side when this all happened.

Tanaka plugged his headphones in and handed them over to Yama, who took them in a confused fashion, but put them in nonetheless. Soon enough he heard a small voice sing, it wasn't very loud and he didn't understand what he was listening to. He grabbed the phone from Tanaka and looked at the screen, the door was opening and now you could get a clear view of Tsukki. A smile was plastered onto Tsukki's face, but you could also see the tears that made their way onto the floor. It was a beautiful sight, the way the light reflected on his face was stunning.

The other amazing thing about this, was that he was actually singing. Yamaguchi has known Tsukki since they were both very young, so he knew what the difference between his silly singing voice that Tsukki used when they were kids and the one he was hearing now. It was unlike anything Yama had ever heard.

"But I know someday I'll make it out of here!"

"Holy shit," Yamaguchi whispered. He continued to listen to Tsukki sing, and when he stopped Yama replayed it. There was no way he could stop listening. The way that Tsukki sang was addicting.

It made Yama blush. 

It made Yama melt.

It made Yama shake.

"How the absolute fuck?" He questioned himself quietly.

Tanaka reached over to take his phone back but Yamaguchi brought it to his chest before he could,"I'm not done."

"It's been ten minutes of course you're done, you've replayed it several times."

"That doesn't mean I'm done, just one more time! And then you have to send it to me," Tadashi retorted. He replayed the recording again, just listening and paying attention to the look on Tsukki's face. If Tadashi were to be honest, he felt special. He was the only person in the room that had seen him smile like that beforehand.

The video ends and he hands the phone and earbuds back to Tanaka. He looked over to Tsukki, they met eyes and Yama immediately knew something was up. Just as he was about to take a step towards him, Kei left the gym.

"Hey guys, just start warm ups without us. We'll be back, I promise," Tadashi said to them. 

Yama exits the gym, doing the best to ignore the cold air biting at his skin. He takes a look around and spots Tsukki sitting next to the club room door. He jogs over, skipping two steps at a time as he goes up the stairs. By the time he makes it to Tsukishima, he's out of breath and his face is slightly flushed.

"T-tsukki, please tell me what's wrong."

"No need, I told you earlier. Just gotta let things play out in silence."

"No you don't! C'mon Tsukki, you're my best friend, all I wanna do is help," he argued.

"I'm just scared of screwing things up, I'm tired of making a fool out of myself and losing people because of it. Now people figure out that I sing and that it sounds like shit, way to go shitty soprano me." 

Tadashi sat down next to Tsukishima slowly, he leaned his down on Tsukki's shoulder. "Your voice is really beautiful, kind of made me melt. Just thought I'd let you know."

Tsukki scoffed,"Yeah right, you're saying that just to make me feel better."

"Tsukki, let me ask you something."

"What is it?"

Tadashi let at a tiny sigh,"When's the last time I lied to you about something?"

Silence filled the chilled air, the only to be heard is their breathing and their teammates warming up in the gym. "It was a long time ago, you said you didn't steal my cookie when you did." 

The both of them giggled, the memory coming back to them. "Yeah, I remember that. God, when was that? Middle School?" Tadashi asked.

"Yeah, middle school."

"So I haven't lied to you since middle school, and the lie was over a cookie. Nothing serious."

Tsukishima faked a gasp,"That cookie was special to me. How could you say something like that?"

Tadashi chuckled, his chest felt light, and he could feel his face heat up. He'd just have to blame it on the weather. God he was totally head over heels for this boy.

"Ok, but back to the subject. Tsukki, you mean everything to me. I'd never lie to you over something like this. You should've heard yourself, I'm being serious when I say that I melted. You're so talented, and skilled, and amazing, and I really appreciate you. No way in hell would I lie to you, besides I can't get anything past you."

"Do you mean that?" Tsukki asked, his voice was small.

"Of course!"

Tsukki could feel his words tugging at his heart strings, his chest felt heavy. This boy was playing a game with his heart, and Tadashi didn't even know that he was winning. He rests his head on Yamaguchi's, reaching over and holding the freckled hand within his own.

"Thank you, Yams."

"No problem, Tsukki." 

Once again it was silent, but it wasn't tense. It was calm, loving if you will. Tsukishima didn't know what he would do without Tadashi. He couldn't imagine a life without him. Tsukki gently rubbed his thumb over Tadashi's knuckles, as a way to comfort himself.

"Yama, can I tell you something before we go back?" Tsukki asked, he had to do this before he lost his courage.

"Sure, Tsukki."

"I like you," he said, it came out nonchalant but he couldn't seem to calm his racing heart. God, he hoped Tadashi couldn't hear it beating against his chest from beside him.

"I like you, too Tsukki." The way Tadashi said it made it seem like it was the friendly type of like.

"No, Tadashi," the way his first name rolled off of my tongue was exhilarating,"not, that kind."

"What do you me-" Yamaguchi stopped," oh. Oh. OH! Are you serious? Or are you messing with me?" Yamaguchi's head shot up, he looked at him desperately. Yams could only hope that Tsukki wasn't kidding, everything in him was just praying that the blond might return his feelings.

"Yeah, I'm serious," Tsukki replied. He turned his head to scan Yama's eyes, taking notice of the flecks of green hidden in the light brown irises. The thought of never being able to look at Yamaguchi's eyes polluted his mind, leaving in him in an anxious state. His hands began shaking, so he pulled his hand away from Tadashi's.

"I'm sorry that was stupid of me to say-"

"No it wasn't. Well, I mean it would be stupid of you to say that if you didn't genuinely mean it, but if you do, then it wasn't stupid." Tadashi moved his gaze back to his lap.

"No, I mean it. But I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything, not my intention," Kei said, his voice grew softer with every word.

Yamaguchi smiled softly before whispering his response,"I'm not uncomfortable, thank you for telling me. It means a lot. It really does. And, um, I feel the same way."

"Yeah?"

"Mhmm," Tadashi clarified.

"We can discuss this more later, thank you for your help Yamaguchi-"

"Just call me Tadashi."

Tsukki smiled, his expression softening,"Tadashi," he said quietly. It felt nice to say it. "Then you can call me, Kei. Thank you for this, but we should head back."

"You're right, it's really no problem though, you're one of my priorities. C'mon, let's go." Tadashi placed a small kiss to Tsukishima's forehead before standing up.

Tsukishima felt heat rise up his neck and onto his cheeks. His heart was beating so fast against his chest he was sure that Yams could hear it from above him.

He offered his hand to help Tsukki up, the latter gladly took it and didn't let go even when he was standing.

He pulled Yamaguchi into a hug, resting his arms around his waist Tsukki then began nuzzling his face into his soft green hair. "Thank you…."

Tadashi rested his head into the crook of Kei's neck, breathing in deeply. Tadashi felt the warmth in his chest spread to his face and his legs, and this time he did start to melt. His legs acted like Jello, they started shaking leaving him clinging to Tsukishima's shoulders.

"Are you ok?" Tsukishima chuckled into his ear. His arms gripped onto Tadashi's waist tighter, leaving him completely helpless. Kei's voice in his ear created a massive heat wave to wash over his face, he felt his breathing hitch. Slowly he began to realize just how close they were. Tadashi was relying on Kei to keep him standing at this point, he couldn't feel his limbs.

"I told you that you make me melt."

"I thought it was just you exaggerating," Tsukki mumbled.

"Nope. Not one bit." Tadashi pushed himself up slightly, just enough to get a close view of Tsukishima's face. Kei's honey eyes sparkled behind his glasses, and it felt so cheesy to think that but it was so true.

"Can I kiss you?" Tsukki's voice brought him to reality.

Tadashi stared up at him for a single moment before he brought their lips together. He slowly closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around his neck and grabbing the back of Tsukishima's head to bring them even closer together, only paying attention to the feeling of his soft blond hair between his fingers and Tsukishima's touch.Their lips moved in sync, passion replacing the hesitation that they once felt. The feeling of Tsukishima's chapped lips against his own was so alluring, addicting even. 

Kei brought Tadashi's waist closer to his own, he slowly curved into his body. The feeling of them together was enough to make Tsukishima weak, weak enough to have to pull away from the smaller boy. 

Tadashi and Kei stood there lightly panting, faces red, and in each other's arms. Kei gave Tadashi one last peck on the lips before letting go of him slowly,"I'm never going to get used to that."

Tadashi merely nodded, bringing his hand up to his lips and feeling where Tsukishima's had once been. "W-we have to get back now, so um, c'mon let's go."

He gently tugged on Tsukki's hand and guided him to the gym. Before opening the door Tsukki whispered into Tadashi's ear,"We're going to my house after practice."

All Tadashi could do was nod and swiftly open the door with a blush, he could hear the small chuckle coming from Kei's lips. If he wasn't flustered then, he definitely was now. What an asshole! Cute bitch…


End file.
